


An Idol House Party

by RebelOfMyHeart



Category: Big Bang (Band), EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen, General BS, Multi, Partying, Shade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5833363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelOfMyHeart/pseuds/RebelOfMyHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An idol house party as viewed from the perspective of Kim Minseok.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Idol House Party

**Author's Note:**

> This fic describes a party in which idols do crazy shizz.  
> Contains: Idols, references to idol scandals (shade), swearing, drugs, alcohol, smoking, references to sexual activity ------> basically there are reasons why it's rated M  
> If I make fun of your idol and offend your bias, please don't kill me. It's all for fun.  
> I got this idea randomly while in the shower, while thinking about partying. Alot of the stuff in this fic is based on stories I have heard about the parties around where I live. The rest came from my brain.  
> Any similarities with other fanfics is not intentional, purely coincidential.  
> It's my first fanfic, try not to judge too harshly.  
> Oh, and forgive me for the failed crack....
> 
> Originally posted on August 24, 2014

In between the mountains, located in South Korea, is a sketchy road with the sign "DO NOT TRESPASS. TRESPASSERS WILL BE CHARGED". If one was to ignore the sign, take this road and walk for around ten minutes, they would come to face a large property on which is situated a large house. This was the property that was once owned by Yang Hyun Suk, aquired through certain mafia connections. Once Big Bang had reached fame, he transfered the property to the name of Kwon Jiyong (aka G-Dragon, aka GD) as a present, for helping them reach fame.

Being the young party animal he is, GD decided to use the house to host wild parties. Every few months, a grand party would be hosted and only idols were invited. This house later became famous in celebrity circles, for the legendary parties that took place.

~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~  
Minseok slowly walked around the huge house, going towards the backyard where the party was. He entered the large backyard, which is the usual site for the mindless partying. The grounds were lit by soft-glowing lanterns, music blasting on a grassy dancefloor, drunk-assed people everywhere, people participating in the use of drugs... Not surprised by the tomfoolery taking place, he went to find the host of the party, you know, to pay the proper respects. Crazy-ass party or not, one must never forget their manners.

He found GD, sitting at on one of the many couches dragged out for the party, rolling a dart. As he approched GD, the latter began smoking his dart, slowly petting Yixing's hair. Yixing was curled up on the couch, his head in GD's lap, sleeping. Nope, they weren't in a relationship, it was just that Yixing was GD's pot dealer, and because he always got the grade-A stuff, GD liked to treat him specially. Like his personal pet unicorn.

 _Well, there's one fandom joke that isn't to far off,_ Minseok smirked to himself, refering to the pot jokes they often hear about Yixing. _Maybe the fandom isn't as stupid as people make it out to be..._

"Excuse me GD-sunbae, thanks for hosting this party," Minseok politely thanked GD.

"Kiko..." was the only response he got out GD.

 _Wow, he's soo obsessed..._ simply thought Minseok, giving GD a simple bow. _Why do I even bother doing this everytime? But then he remembered that one must keep up with one's manners, no matter how pointless it might be._

Turning to the right, he sees T.O.P crying while reading something on a iPad, surrounded by a group of men.

 _Ahh, the fanfic group..._ Minseok simply thinks.

Ooohhh yes. The all-male fanfic group, headed by T.O.P himself. The group of enthusiastic males that often came together to write Kpop fanfic. They write their own fics, judge each others fics, and help each other out. How they were able to write with music blasting so loud was beyond Minseok. In fact, T.O.P, is quite the famous fanfic author, with a huge following in the fanfic world. He specialized in angst stories, and was quite passionate about his writing.

Sitting right next to him is his right-hand man, Kim Heechul. Specializing in femslash, his fire of passion for fanfic was surpassed only by T.O.P. Minseok had once proofread some of these fics as a favour, and was forvever traumatised by intensity of lesbian sex. He promised himself, never again... Heechul was quite proud that he was the only one in the group that actually released some of his fics to his fans, albeit them being boyxboy and being about his own band.

Others in the group included Mir (who was more of a proofreader, with the preference of boyxboy), P.O (specialized in crack cause he liked being bat-shit crazy), Jaejoong (specialized in idolxOC, cause why the hell not?), Jackson (new recruit, has a knack for boyxboy smut), Himchan (fanboy of T.O.P's works), Leo (he just liked fanfic in general) and Mino from Winner (new recruit, writes mostly high school comedies). There were a few others, though they weren't present at the moment.

"Oh, hello Minseok. Didn't see you there. I'm sorry about the crying, it's just this fic... It's just so... Tragic," T.O.P excuses himself while sniffling.

"That's fine sunbae," Minseok politely replies. Eyeing the table in front of the group, if the empty bottles and cigarette stubs were any indication, they were all drunk and probably high.

Of course, Minseok mentally rolled his eyes. Minseok was among the more sane party-goers, becoming buzzed at most, rarely becoming drunk or high. He quietly greeted the others.

"By the way, where's Tao?" inquired T.O.P. "I wanted to thank him for the emotional material he gave me for my last fic. He really knows the working of the bitter ex-girlfriend, cruelly left behind by her boyfriend."

 _Indeed. If how he acted after Kris left is any clue, he really knows how to perfect that role. He can also get over it the fastest,_ Minseok mentally comments. Tao was also part of this group, of course, writing his own fics filled with a ridiculous amount drama (cause who dosen't like drama? - Tao)

"He decided to stay home with Sehun. Something about bonding together for better teamwork purposes," Minseok replies, with emphasis on the 'bonding' part.

"Well then, I hope he'll come back and share some of his experiences." T.O.P says, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive fashion, with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"I think that would be great," Jackson suddenly slurred. " I need new material for the fic I'm writing."

"Haha, maybe. Anyway, I'm gonna go dance for a little while. See ya guys around," Minseoks says.

As he was about to turn towards the dancefloor, he felt a wet, sloppy kiss on his round cheeks.

"Ooooohh, Baaaaoooozzzziiiii, didja miss me? Why are you sooooooo late?" a very drunk Luhan asks, clinging to Minseok's side.

 _Great,_ Minseok mentally sighs, _now I have to take care of a clingy Luhan._ Really, Luhan was his best friend and they spend a lot time together, but when Luhan gets drunk, he becomes very touchy feely. The way he acts around Minseok in particular during this state is what every fangirl has wet dreams about.

In the background, the writers start fanboying and Minseok hears an "Awww they're so cute!" and "My next fic is totally going to be a Xiuhan. Now the question is whether there should be mpreg or not..."

Just as Minseok is about to respond, Luhan passed out, falling to the ground in a undignified position. Luhan wasn't exactly a heavy-weight drinker, getting drunk and passing out quite easily. Smiling at his friend, he picks Luhan up with his famous arm strength and drops him on a nearby couch.

Turning back to the guys behind him, he asks them to keep an eye on Luhan for him. Everyone except P.O stares at him. The latter gives him a thumbs up and a crooked smile, before falling backwards from the couch. After thanking them with a small bow, Minseok decides to head towards the mini dance floor.

Upon reaching the edge of the dancefloor, which was like 4ft away from where all the couches were, Minseok looks towards the DJing booth. Usually the DJ was Tukutz from Epik High or Primary, but today it seems like Jay Park was in charge of the music.

 _Well, we can expect more rap tracks than club tracks tonight,_ Minseok thinks to himself. 

He takes a moment to scan the dancefloor. Near him was where Sandara Park, in all her beauty, was dancing without a thought in the world. She was surrounded by a bunch a guys (and a trio of girls? kinda hard to tell in the dimly lit yard), including Park Chanyeol, his very own band member.

 _That's not very surprising,_ Minseok smiles to himself. _Everyone and their mother knows that Chanyeol has a serious puppy crush on Sandara._ Minseok smiles to himself even more when he realizes that no one is getting close enough to actually touch her. _Probably afraid that Cheondoong would come down on them with his holy wrath, and he probably would to. Even in their druken state they're afraid..._

He goes back to scanning the rest of the dance floor, where the majority of idols were. He is able to make out Taeyang dancing shirtless, Taemin and Jongin having some kind of dance competition between themselves, Hyoyeon and Min grinding on each other, San.E making out with someone who looks like Ailee, C.A.P and L.Joe who were dancing while chatting, as well as Xiah Junsu doing some kind of sexy dance with Yuhno in front a group of fan-girling females idols, though the only one he is able to make out is Minah. Over, near the left corner, he sees Jia puking, with Fei holding her hair and near them, a random couple fighting, and what looks like G.NA having a mental breakdown. It was a bit too dark to make out the rest of the crowd.

Over to the right was where the poles were set up. There, he is able to make Eunhyuk, Lee Joon, Kahi, Raina and Goo Hara working the poles, though the only one who was stripping was Lee Joon. There was also a group people encouraging them, mostly girls. He is able to make out about half of Crayon Pop, the older half of A-pink, Narsha from BEG, Soyou from Sistar, and L from Infinite. Crayon Pop and A-Pink both had cigarettes in their mouths like thugs (it's always the groups with the innocent, cute concepts...), Narsha yelling at them to "werk it for me", and Soyou just silently taking it all in, while L was taking pictures on his phone, adding it to the album that contained the nudes of his band members.

Minseok just smirks and makes his way through the crowd, excusing himself (manners, of course). He then proceeded to shake his booty and dance with a vengence, cause no one can shake ass like Minseok (and he knows it too).

~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~  
After a while, Minseok decides that he has had enough dancing for the night and chooses to go back into the actual house. On the way back, he passes Seungri and Jonghyun (from Shinee) exchanging sex tips. They're actually fuck buddies, and often watch porn together. How did this friendship come to form you ask? It's the result of another one of these parties, in which the eldest of both groups decided to switch the maknaes for a week, but that's another story for another time. They even created their own shipment name, JongRi. In fact, Jonghyun is the one that introduced Seungri to different kinds of kinks, one which was revealed from that one-night stand scandal. There was a rumour that the real reason Shin Se Kyung broke up with Jonghyun because he was so kinky, not because of the devastated fans. 

Across from them was Key, Woohyun and Sungyeol, taking shot after shot as if to see who would be the first to chicken out. Key also happened to be glaring at the JongRi couple.

 _Well, well, there is plenty of fanfic material right here. Maybe I should temporarily join the fanfic group..._ Minseok mused to himself. Shaking his head, he continued towards the house. Passing Luhan, who was still passed out on the couch, he decided that he would come and pick him up later, when they were going to leave. He quickly bowed to fanfic group, though most of them were now passed out, and the rest were to caught up in their discussion to actually notice. He also passed GD, who was now talking to Song Kyung Il from History. Yixing was sitting smoking a joint, staring at the stars. He also bowed to them, and got a wave from GD and Song Kyung Il, though Yixing didn't seem to notice, being in his own world.

Entering the large house, he finds himself in the kitchen, where he finds Kwanghee, Park Bom, Miryo, and Zinger all talking about plastic surgery. He laughs to himself when he see Bom eating jelly candies. After greeting them, he heads into the living room, just across the kitchen. There he sees a group people playing Drink or Dare. This group included N, Ravi, Hongbin, Luna, Amber, Taecyeon, Jun.K, ChoA, Gyuri, Jaekyung, Taeil, Bohyung, Junghwa, Lee Hongki and his very own leader, Kim Joonmyun, aka Suho. Minseok, of course, greets them.

He snickers as he sees his leader stripped to his underwear, showing off his skin, which is as pale as the cocaine he sniffed of a hooker's butt. Oh yes, Kim Joonmyun, the angel of Exo if far from the innocent, sweet leader everyone thinks he is. Joonmyeon, behind the façade of being the kind and gentle leader, was quite the freak in bed. It actually happened a couple months ago, at a party themed hookers and crack, and oh yes, he pulled a Wolf of Wall Street. Minseok himself woke up in a bed with Seungyoon and Changmin, naked. He may or may not have a faint memory of a three way. He shuddered at the thought/memory of it.

Joonmyun staggers his way to Minseok, visibly drunk.

"Hyungie, have you seen Kyungsoo?"

"He isn't here Joonmyun. He's hanging out with Jo In Sung."

"He is such a hyung-whore. Whatever, all I need is you, hyungie," Joonmyun smiles, rubbing his face against Minseok's arm.

 _Says the one who's a bigger hyung-whore than Minho,_ Minseok mentally rolls his eyes.

"Listen Joonmyun, why don't you go back and play your game. I'll come back later."

"Anything for _my_ hyungie."

Minseok stifles a laugh, bows a little good-bye to the group and makes his to the front of the house, where the stairs to the basement are. Unfortunately, right next to the stairs is the parlour room, also known as The Love Nest or The Orgy Room. This was one of the many rooms that lovers like to use, the most popular room out of all the rooms in the house. In fact, there was a large candy jar full of condoms on a table, in the middle of room. Curious to see who exactly is in the room, he peeks in and sees the members of SNSD who are dating, with their boyfriends, Jokwon with Soohyun and a few other couples. He laughs as he see the sight of Taeyeon on top of Baekhyun, grinding against him, while making out.

 _Well, somebody has to take care of that snarky ass,_ Minseok thought to himself.

Shaking his head, he makes his way downstairs to find a bunch of idols (both male and female) watching Free! on a home theatre system. They were lounged on the floor and on the couches, with blankets and beer, watching with quite the interest. With a sudden need to go the bathroom, Minseok turned around in search of a washroom. He entered a room, only to find Jongdae sleeping in what seems to be an office room.

 _Poor kid. He seems to be kinda overworked lately,_ Minseok thought. He quickly ran back to where everyone was watching, snatching an unused blanket, went back to Jongdae, laying the blanket over him. He then returned to his quest to find a bathroom, and succeeded.

After he finished his bathroom break, he returned to the group watching. He placed in himself between G.O and Seungho from MBLAQ. After a couple of episodes, he hears a voice right below him, on the floor.

"Ya know, Rin is kinda hot, for a 2D jerk," states BamBam, who at some point settled on the floor in front of Minseok, using his legs as a backrest. Minseok didn't mind, it kept his legs warm.

"You're right, though I prefer Nagisa myself," Suzy suddenly replied.

"My type is more Haru," Hyuna informed them.

And the three had a small conversation about the characters in the anime. Suddenly, Kikwang appeared.

"Yo guys, imma let you guys finish, but Attack on Titan is the greatest anime of all time."

After saying his random statement, he sat back down and started watching the anime.

The other three just stared at him, shook there heads in disagreement (honestly, there are better animes than AoT), and went back to their discussion. Minseok chuckled at the scene that unfolded in front of him. After the current episode ended, he ruffled BamBam's hair and offering him his seat. Minseok left the basement, and checked his phone to see the time.

 _It's almost one, the philosophy group's about to meet. Guess I better get up there,_ thought Minseok, as he made his way to the stairs that led to the second floor. 

~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~  
There was a group of idols, who got together during these parties to discuss the various problems of society, human nature and philosophy in general. They often met in the huge study on the second floor. As he stood at the top of the stairs, he sighed. Unfortunately for him, to get the huge study, he has to pass the hallway of bedroom known as 'The Avenue of Sex'. A long hallway, consisting of numerous bedrooms, that as one may guess, was used like any other bedrooms during house parties. Minseok slowly made his way through the hallway. As he passed each door, he managed to identify the genders of the occupants in the room, from the moans that permeated through the door and into the hall.

_Guy/girl, guy/guy, girl/guy, guy alone, girl/girl, girl/guy, guy/girl..._

And a similar pattern occured until he walked passed one particular door, where as he passed he heard the loudest sex scream ever heard on the planet (that might be a slight exaggeration).

"Chearin... Chaerin... please... " begged a high pitched voice.

"Please Chaerin... just let me.... ahhh..." a similar high pitched voice pleaded, as her voiced cracked.

Minseok stood there for a second, slightly disturbed, and then continued on his path. He shook his head and laughed. It seemed that CL, Nana, and Lizzy were having a three some, and CL was dominating the other two. CL's whole dominate aura is more than a stage persona, it also applies in the bedroom. Actually, other than that, she's actually a pretty cool person, with a relaxed nature. She actually is the lesbian crush for alot of female idols. As for Nana and Lizzy, this isn't the first time... they enjoy being dominated.

Passing a few more doors, Minseok finally arrived in front of two grand oak doors, the doors to the study. As he entered the room, he was welcomed by the scent of multiple hookahs, a warmth of a flaming fireplace, a room surrounded by completed bookshelves and a group of people lounging on sofas, chairs and loveseats. The black sofas were arranged in large half-circle in front of the fireplace.

As he entered the room, he was greeted by a rather large group of people. This group included Daesung, Onew, Seohyun, Minzy, Yongguk, Lee Chanhyuk, Zico, Suga, Uee, Junhyung, Victoria, JeA, Kyungri, Hyeri, Bora, Gummy, Di, Lee Hongki, CNBLUE, Jinwoon, Yeeun, Noeul and Jaekyung. This was the usual group, with a number of other idols that sometimes drift in and join the conversation if they felt like it. This included members from Minseok's own band; Joonmyeon (when he wasn't being a hyung whore, meaning when he isn't drunk) and Kai (the kid can pretty wise... when he wants to be).

As Minseok greeted them back, he went and sat in his usual seat, near the corner of the half circle. The seat was actually perfect for him. He could see everyone in the group and easliy participate in the discussion. And when he wasn't participating, he could easily listen to the discussion or just curl up and read a book. To his great surprise, the books in the library are real. In fact, there was a great variety of books in the collection, fiction and non fiction, covering a bit from every genre. There was even a porno/erotica section, where the occaisonal wanker will come and borrow for fapping material. 

The discussion had already started as he settled down into his seat. The topic tonight was the topic of whether you should do the right thing or whether you should do things right. The subject was of particular interest to Minseok, so he joined in the conservation.

~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~

A good hour and half later, the discussion was still going strong, though a number of people were asleep, reading or just too incoherent from the alcohol to actually participate. While listening to Minzy's view on the particular subject, Minseok recieved a text from one of Exo's managers, telling him to gather all the members he can and meet him at the end of the path, at the bottom of the mountain.

After saying his farewells to group, he made his way downstairs. He tried to go over who actually came to the party (they all came separately or in groups in of two), but the music that raged into the house from outside wasn't exactly helping him. Shrugging his shoulders, he decided that he would collect Suho, Luhan, Yixing and Chen. _Baekhyun was probably going to get a ride with Taeyeon and the rest can find their own way back and Kai can tag along with them,_ he thought.

Going into the living room, where the remanents of the Drink or Dare players were loitering, Minseok found Joonmyeon trying to take off Jun.K's clothes, and the latter was trying to take off Joonmyeon's boxers, the only thing he had on. Laughing, Minseok managed to peel Joonmyeon off of Jun.K, and then became his leader's object of hyung affection. Jun.K, on the other hand, was slightly disapointed, but instantly changed his affection towards Bohyung, from Spica.

 _Well that was fast..._ Minseok chuckled to himself, as he found a pair of pants that he hoped was Joonmyeon's. He then proceeded to help the intoxicated leader put on the pair of pants. Not finding a shirt, he simply shurgged and left Joonmyeon shirtless. _It's warm enough that he won't catch a cold,_ Minseok simply thought.

With his leader following in tow, trying to suck up to him, Minseok went outside. He went to where GD was, hoping that Yixing was still there and so he can thank the host of the party. He found GD taking shots with Sunny, so he greeted the both of them.

"Excuse me Jiyong-sunbae, thank you for hosting this party. It was quite enjoyable."

"Sure kid. You're leaving already?" mumbled/slurred GD, in between shots.

"Yeah, our manager texted me--"

Minseok was interrupted by a certain someone who started rubbing himself all over their host, while loudly proclaiming his love for 'GD-hyung'. Shocked for a second, Minseok quickly regained himself and pulled Joonmyeon off of GD, apologizing multiple time. Thankfully, GD didn't seem to care, just mumbling "whatever" and then told him to continue whatever he was saying before.

"Like I was saying, our manager texted me saying that he was coming to pick us up. So I'm going around and collecting whichever members I can find."

"So you have a curfew? I remeber when our band had a curfew..."

"By the way, do you know where Yixing went?"

"Said something about pretty lights and stumbled out of here..."

Thank him, Minseok turned to find Joonmyeon doing aegyo to Sunny, who was ignoring him.

 _More of a sunbae whore than a hyung whore..._ Minseok mentally rolling his eyes, as he pulled him back. He lead them to where Luhan was still lying, passed out. 

"Joonmyeon, hyung would be really happy if you could stay here watch over Luhan," Minseok says nonchalantly, with a slightly smug smile. He knew at that at this point, Joonmyeon was willing to do anything Minseok asked him to.

"Anything for you, hyung," came the slurred, eager response. Joonmyeon then proceeded to poke Luhan's cheek, trying to rouse him from his deep slumber.

"Joonmyeon, don't try and wake him, he's not going to wake up," was the only thing Minseok said. 

Petting his head like a puppy, Minseok left Joonmyeon next Luhan, as he headed farther into the yard to find the band's dimple-faced, in-resident unicorn/drug dealer. 

After a couple of minutes of wandering the grounds, he found Yixing poking at one of the low hanging Chinese lanterns that surrounded property.

"Yixing, what exactly are you doing?" Minseok questioned, carefully enunciating each word, so Yixing could actually process what he was saying, through his drug-laced brain.

"Hy-ung. 'm[I'm] trying to let the fiyaflises[fireflies] frreee. Theyy deserve that freedomm, hy-ung. Let'em freee!! hy-ung."

"How about you come with me and we go home, where we can plan on how to save the fireflies together."

"Hy-ung, theyy neeeeed their freedom now!!! Right now!!!" 

"What if I told there are no fireflies in those laterns, just a lightbulb."

"MY CHILDHOOD IS FLIPPIN' RUINED!!! I FUCKIN' HATE YOU HY-UNG!" Yixing dramatically exploded, while tears streamed down his face.

Sighing, Minseok simply took Yixing by the hand and led them to where Joonmyeon was still trying to wake Luhan up.

"Hey Joonmyeon, hyung will love you forever if you can carry Luhan and follow me to the car."

"Of course, hyung," Joonmyeon giggled, picking Luhan up bridal-style.

Still holding a weeping Yixing 's hand, Minseok led the quartet around to the front of the house, when Minseok suddenly remembered something.

 _Whoops! Almost forgot Jongdae..._ Turning to Joonmyeon who was still carrying Luhan, Minseok instructed them to stay by the tree near the house. He then ran towards the house, flew down the stairs leading to the basement, and raced into the office room where Jongdae was sleeping. As Minseok shook Jongdae awake, the latter suddenly elbowed him in the face. Tumbling backwards, Minseok held his nose for a minute, only to realize that his nose was bleeding. Jongdae, who was now awake, suddenly stood up with a shocked expression.

"Shoot, hyung. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it! You surprised me..." Jongdae apoligized with a guilty expression.

"It's fine Jongdae, it was an accident. Just help me to the bathroom so I can clean up," Minseok mumbled through his hands, still holding on to his nose. 

The two made their way to the bathroom nearby, and quickly cleaned-up all the blood.

"Hyung, your nose is swollen. I think I broke it..." Jongdae said worriedly.

"Well, at least I can use it as an excuse to get a nose job."

"Please don't become a Jonghyun, hyung."

Minseok chuckled at the thought.

"Let's hurry up and meet up with the others. Leaving two intoxicated idols and a sleeping one alone isn't the smartest idea."

Together, the two made their way up towards the front of the house, where they came upon the ridiculous scene of Yixing humping a tree, while trying to strip, and 

Joonmyeon tracing a sleeping Luhan's facial features, mumbling something quietly.

Minseok rolled his eyes and pulled Yixing off the tree.

"Yixing, what exactly are you doing?"

"Hy-ung, this shek-shi[sexy] treee confessed her feelings to meee. We decidedd to make luv together in the moooonlight."

Minseok and Jongdae just stood there with unreadable expressions.

"Hyung, he's high again, isn't he?"

"Yup. I think it might be ecstasy this time."

Jongdae, having gripped onto Yixing wrist, and Minseok then focused their attention onto Joonmyeon, who was still tracing Luhan's face and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Minseok just sighed while Jongdae simply tried to keep from laughing out loud.

"Joonmyeon, what exactly are you doing?" Minseok asked.

"Hyung! I wasn't doing anything, just admiring Luhannie-hyung's face. Don't worry, I would never cheat on you!"

"I wasn't worried about tha-"

"Oh my Lee Soo Man, what happened to your face?!!"

"Jongdae accidently hi-"

Before Minseok could finish his sentence, Joonmyeon lunged at Jongdae, screaming things like "How dare you attack my Minseok-hyung!", "You're gonna pay you bastard!" and "Imma gonna beat you to a pulp!". All the while, poor Jongdae tried protect himself while being punched at.

Minseok suddenly lost his patience.

"ENOUGH!"

Joonmyeon froze, his fist midair, about to punch Jongdae. 

"But hyung, he hurt your beautiful, adorable face!"

"It was an accident, Joonmyeon. Now if you don't help me bring Luhan to the car and apoligize to Jongdae, hyung will hate you forever."

"Noooo, hyung. Don't hate me, please love me forever!" Joonmyeon started sobbing/begging, picking up Luhan once again.

"Apoligize to Jongdae."

"I'm sorry," came the apology, though it was said with a glare towards the recipient. He clearly didn't mean it.

"It's fine," Jongdae sighed, with a hand over his eye.

"Jongdae, looks like you have a black eye. Make sure to put some ice on it when we get home," Minseok said, after looking over his face.

"Yes hyung."

Minseok looked around for Yixing, only to find the said person trying to make out with the tree he was humping earlier. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed Yixing again and held onto his hand tightly, despite the other's protest.

"Hy-ung, why do you have to cockblock everytime, I love-make!! Your soo eeeevvviiillll!" Yixing slurred as he started crying again.

 _Trying to have sex with inanimate objects is not love-making, it's called being horny, you idiot,_ Minseok wanted to yell. Instead, he simply ignored whatever came out of Yixing's mouth. There's no point in reasoning with someone who is high and clearly can't think. 

Making sure there was no other problem, he lead the group down the little road, for about ten minutes, where a van was waiting for them. The passenger-side window rolled down and their manager popped his head out the window. 

"How many have you got with you?"

"Four."

"I'll help you put them in."

With the combined effort of Minseok, Jongdae and their manager, they managed to get Yixing and Joonmyeon buckled up in the backseats and Luhan buckled up in the middleseat. Jongdae sat next to Luhan, while Minseok took shotgun. Within the timespan of five minutes, the entire van was asleep, save Minseok and the manager, who was driving.

"What happened to yours and Jongdae's face?"

"Jongdae accidently elbowed me in the face when I was waking him up and Joonmyeon decided to beat on Jongdae for it, despite being an accident."

"Must be hard taking care of all these bozos."

"It is. The party was fun, but I didn't sign up for this to take care of a bunch of overgrown infants..."

His manager simply chuckled.

Despite that and his throbbing nose, for some reason, Minseok couldn't imagine his life any other way. He really did love his members and didn't mind being the adult sometimes. Feeling content and with a smile on his face, Minseok closed his eyes and let his mind drift away to the beautiful land of dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dear people,
> 
> I'm your Author! Hope you enjoyed this fic of failed crack!! 
> 
> I know there is a lot of shade and references, but it's all for fun. I didn't mean to offend anyone (sorry if I did) and I certainly don't hate anyone. This is my first fic, so I'm kinda exicted with this fic. 
> 
> I know that in the fic, it refrences Kris leaving and not Luhan. That's because I started this fic after Kris left (before Luhan left) and only finished it after Luhan left. So I guess in the timeline of things, this story takes place somewhere in between these two events.
> 
> The reason I wrote this story is make you smile, so if you did, then I did my job. If not, oh well, maybe next time!
> 
> If you have any questions, feel free to comment.
> 
> Special thanks to my beautiful sister for supporting me and proofreading the story. 
> 
> With all the love in world,
> 
> RebelOfMyHeart (Crush1205/Crush0623)


End file.
